Brave Margot

 

No excuse not to be involved

 

Situations similar to this awful nightmarish situation are why I chose to walk away from my three children and spare them the further pain, frustration, anxiety and anguish of fighting the madness and almost criminal behaviour of the other side and its lawyers, psychologists and every one of the other divorce vultures who preyed on my tortured family and I. Many of us know of this kind of terror only too well. When I think about what the children and I went through in the early days of my personal divorce nightmare and what I was looking forward to have to do I am certain I did the only thing left for me to do. I just couldn't put the little ones through it anymore. It was all so abnormal and extra ordinary in terms of social behaviour. I was detecting signs of stress and strain in the youngest ones and I was certain that the situation was being "engineered" by the other side. And then there was the behaviour of my two eldest children which bears some similarity with what Jeet describes that I was starting to notice emerge. There were many issues which came to pass before I finally gave way but there was a final straw in all of what was happening. What was going to be next? What could ahve been next? I was already seeing evidence of something worse developing.

 

I could cope with the psychologists and their lies and deceit on behalf of the other side (and I was actually winning at one point) but I could not cope with being hauled into court to stand among pimps and prostitutes and drug addicts facing a trumped up legal case which had no charges attached to it and never had. But it was the shame and the humiliation of their Father going through what I was which finally made me realize that I had no other course left. I was Dad. The one they loved and looked up to. Stable Dad. Wise Dad. Trusting Dad. protecting Dad. Decision-maker and guiding Dad. I was not a criminal. Yet they were being forced to watch their Fathers destruction on many levels to the point of it all being intolerable. So I sacrificed my own happiness or any chance of regaining anything close to it on behalf of my little ones. They will never see it that way of course and will always see (or be told) that I abandoned them. There is nothing I can do about that  and I have to live with it. The mere rehashing of it here brings enormous emotional conflict to the surface. Seeing Jeet's story here bright it all back and makes it all that much more clear that there are some things in this family tragedy which no-one in this sceptical society could ever understand-unless they have gone through it directly or knows someone who has. Like Jeet we walk fine lines under this system in scenarios as described which have all the potential for further destruction.

 

 I am so very aware that there are many stories out there which mirror Jeet’s story and I know many of them personally from contact with other Dads. They are all variations of the same theme. Bit with varying degrees of 'awfulness. 'The destruction of the credibility, status and standing of Dad in the eyes of the children and everyone else. Most Dads can't even bear to talk about it. It’s that difficult and that horrific to try and recount. On the fringes of this crime against the family are the lawyers and the judges and the other carrion of the divorce industry who did everything (and nothing) to ensure I went down. Of course they all well know that to add to the complexity of the case is to ensure that it can not be easily addressed. And who could afford to take cases like ours to court. Who is even going to listen to it? It takes 3 hours to tell just the basics of my story-and that’s leaving out off the 'psychology' of it all. Just the facts themselves are complex and almost all confusing to the ordinary man. People have a short attention span and a limited amount of ability for reasoning. Most will take a simplistic view as a way of understanding and explaining what we have gone through and almost always that develops into something which sees US as having done something wrong. And all of us in this know this is true. Who can tell their story in a few short paragraphs? Who can even tell it to a judge? Who can tell it at all?

 

Many people reading this and especially Jeet’s encounter will know exactly what he has gone through and what we all suffer under thus legal tyranny. The tragedy of this is that it is still going on right now. Even as this is being written another Dad and his children are being destroyed as methodically and in as devastating a fashion as Jeet Das, this writer and many hundreds-maybe thousands-of others. We all know the criminals who are involved in this and why they are doing it. But what are we going to do about it? I leave you the reader to think about this and particularly to think about those little boys waiting in the parking lot and what they must have gone through, what their Mother has done to alienate and influence them and indeed what they are still going through. Today as I 'gear up' to fight another day I have the memory of the Das boys to spur me on.

 

Only by recounting stories like this (despite the immense difficulties in doing so) and sharing them will we ever get the story out. We have to fight this evil system. Fight it for yourselves and your children. Fight it for others. Fight it for Jeet’s boys. But fight it. Tyrannies like we live in now only last as long as we allow them to.

 

I have a few-precious few-motivators that keep me going. One of these is the thought that I always have before I go to sleep (whenever) and that is that I say to myself "someone has to go to jail for this" or "someone has to pay for what they have done." And instead of counting sheep in trying to get some exhausted sleep I count lawyers and judges and psychologists and CAS workers in red and orange jump suits jumping over fences. Its not that much satisfaction but it helps.

 

From:    @yahoogroups.com  On Behalf Of Jeet Das
Sent: Monday, July 09, 2007 3:51 PM
To: @yahoogroups.com
Subject: Weekend drama 

 

Like many others here, I had the cookie-cutter one weekday evening two-hour visit and every other weekend, with a Saturday overnight. The ex does not drive and was dragging the children (two boys, 10 and 13) on public transport on the Wednesday evenings from Ajax to Toronto and back. Pointless. And not having a family, I have got myself more and more involved with work, which was making it difficult for me to get away every Wednesday evening. As a result, I missed six or eight Wednesday evenings over the past 10 months. But I always emailed or called ahead. Finally, on my request, my lawyer wrote the mother a letter suggesting that we stop the Wednesday evening two-hour farce and instead, go from Friday evening to Sunday evening on the weekend visits with me.

 

Nothing for two weeks. Then my lawyer gets a call from the OCL "demanding" to know what we were proposing and to see all paperwork. My lawyer complied. (BTW, she doesn't have counsel as she "can't afford it", with the result that she ignores every letter, notice, email and phone message and there's nothing anyone can do about it.) The OCL said he had to interview the children again. Another month goes by. And then my children tell me that they did meet the OCL, and told him they disagreed with the new schedule because it would interfere with their Friday evening "Dungeons and Dragons" games with their mother and the monkey turd attached to her rump.

 

Right after that, she missed two Wednesday evening visits, which, as far as I was concerned, were still on as neither my lawyer nor I had heard of a decision one way or the other. I would get to the drop- off point and she and the children wouldn't be there. After repeated emails and voice messages, I get a cryptic email from her saying that as per the OCL's "instructions", the Wednesday nights were off. No mention was made of Friday nights being added to my weekends.

 

Finally, a conference call took place between her, my lawyer and the OCL. During that call it was decided that Wednesday nights were off and Friday nights were on. I thought to myself, finally, a small victory.

 

Right?

 

Wrong...

 

I went to pick up the children that Friday evening (June 29), and they say to me, "The (OCL) lied to you. We never agreed to come with you on Friday nights. We're not coming." I tried to reason with them for 10-15 minutes, but they were adamant about not coming. I noticed that neither of them had the bags in which they usually carried the stuff they need when they come away with me. So I hugged them, told them it was okay, we'll sort it out later, and that I'd come back to pick them up the next morning, i.e., Saturday, as per the old schedule. They walked away to their mother's place, 30 seconds away around the corner from the strip plaza where I pick them up. On my way back into the city, while I'm on the highway, I get a call from her asking why I had abandoned the children at the parking lot and why they were back at her place. I told her what they said to me. She said she didn't care; she had brought the children to the drop- off point as "instructed" by the OCL, and that it had been my "job to convince the children" otherwise if they didn't want to come. I was to "turn around immediately and pick the children up". I turned around, but called the children back to clarify. The older one mentioned he "didn't know why mamma said what she did". But both said they'd be waiting for me.

 

She was waiting with the children at the drop-off point and this time they had their bags. I opened the rear door of the van, but they back off and say, "We're still not coming"! I notice that she's still hovering around a few feet away when she normally walks away as soon as she sees I have the children in my care. I reminded the children that they told me on the phone not 10 minutes ago that they were coming, because of which I returned around. They said they "decided on the way over" not to come. (The way over, as I had mentioned earlier, is less than 30 seconds.) I begged. I pleaded. I told them I'd have to call the cops to get their help. Still no go. I tried to speak to the mother, but she mumbled something about "not having to discuss anything" with me and walked away. I said to the children I'd get arrested for abandoning them in the parking lot. No effect. Why wouldn't they come with me? Because they "didn't feel like it"; they have the "right to decide" how much time they spend with me; and that they thought they already spent "enough time" with me. Finally, when they started walking away, I called their mother again and she appeared within seconds to take them away.

 

Through all of this, not once did I raise my voice or threaten the children in any way.

 

The next morning, before I was to pick them up for Saturday mornings under the "old" schedule, I called and said to the children that till they apologised for treating me in that manner, they won't be seeing me. Also that I'm here for them, but not under these circumstances.

 

And that was that.

 

Jeet

 

Ron Paul Courageously Speaks the Truth

 

 

Les cinq préceptes de la sagesse chinoise, destinés aux femmes:

1. Il est important de trouver un homme qui t'aide dans les tâches ménagères et travaux pénibles, et qui ait un bon emploi.

2. Il est important de trouver un homme d'esprit, ayant beaucoup d'humour, qui te fasse rire.

3. Il est important de trouver un homme sur qui tu puisses compter, en qui tu aies confiance et qui ne te mente jamais.

4. Il est important de trouver un homme qui soit bon au lit, qui aime te faire l'amour.

5. Il est important que ces quatre hommes ne se connaissent pas.

 

LA PUB SEXISTE DE CONDOM EST RETIRÉ DES ONDES DE 2 GRANDS RESEAUX AMÉRICAINS !

Why I Support Ron Paul

 

 

Hacking Democracy

 

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

Rodney Dangerfield

 

 

Citation improbable

Pour toi j'apprendrais à tricher au strip-poker

 

Crushed boyfriend's legs, woman gets curfew

When Am I Going To Wake Up From This Nightmare?

All it takes is one false allegation of abuse and you too could be living the nightmare that is reality for many men in Ontario

By Tom Thompson, Justice Reporter

 

"What is that God awful banging, it’s 3am" thinks John Smith as he rolls out of bed to see who could be hammering on his door at such a ridiculous hour. A multitude of worrisome thoughts flow through his head such as, “Oh my God something has happened to my child, has there been an accident”

 

As he descends the stairs to answer the door he is stricken with terror at the sight of two uniformed police officers visible through the window beside his front door. "Oh no" John thinks to himself, “it’s true, my worst nightmare is happening. Something awful has happened to my child, the police don’t come at this hour unless something tragic has happened”

 

He reaches out to open the door and greets the officers, absolute terror etched on his face. “Hello officer, what has happened to my child? Please tell me nothing has happened to my child” John asked the first officer.

 

“Are you Mr. John Smith?” the first officer demands of John. “Yes I am” John replies. “Sir you are under arrest for assault against your former spouse. You are going to have to come down to the station with us" says the officer.

 

“There must be some mistake officer, I have not assaulted my former spouse or anyone else” John vehemently states to the officers. “I am sorry sir, we have had a complaint from your wife that you assaulted her earlier this evening and you are going to jail” respond the officers in unison.

 

“No No No” that’s not true, please I will lose my job if I go to jail” John cries. “you should have thought of that before you beat your wife up Smith” the officers respond with a barely-concealed smirk. 

 

“Turn around and place your hands behind your back please” John is told. “Can I put my clothes on first please officer, I am in my underwear” John cries. “Just do what you are told sir and this will go a lot easier on you”  “I can’t believe this is happening to me” John thinks to himself as he is lead half naked out of his home and into the marked patrol unit at the curb.

 

As the patrol unit moves through his neighbourhood John can feel the eyes of his neighbours and friends peering at him through their windows further adding to his feelings of humiliation and confusion.

 

“Stand up and remove your underwear Mr. Smith” a voice barks at John causing him to start. He is weeps into his hands. He is mortified and humiliated at the thought of standing naked in front of strangers.

 

John is led to an interrogation room by one officer and told of the charges against him.” May I tell you my side of the story please” John begs the officer. “Your ex wife said you hit her and that’s all we need to know Smith” the officer replies.

 

“I want to call a lawyer” John states to the officer. “a lawyer isn’t going to help you Smith, domestic violence perpetrators go to jail with or without a lawyer” the officer responds with a smug and condescending smile.

 

The officer stands aside and tells John to get into the holding cell, with a vicious shove to the middle of his back John is propelled into the cell and falls to the floor cutting his head and knocking out a tooth.

 

John is freezing, there is no blanket anywhere in sight and the cold metal bed offers no warmth. John’s clothes and belongings have been confiscated from him and the officers are not answering his calls for a blanket.

 

Slowly John opens his eyes, he is not sure how much time has passed, as he takes in his surroundings a guttural cry erupts from John, “WHEN AM I GOING TO WAKE UP FROM THIS NIGHTMARE” he screams.

 

Some readers may believe that the above story is mere fiction but sadly it is not. Surely the name John Smith is fictitious but the circumstances of Mr. Smith’s story are all too real for many men who are the victims of false allegations of abuse by a woman in Ontario. And they number in the thousands.

 

 

Donnez leur de la drogue ça les calme

JOURNÉE DE LA POPULATION : LES HOMMES APPELÉS À PARTICIPER POUR PROTÉGER LA SANTÉ DES FEMMES

ew York, Jul 11 2007 2:00PM

A l'occasion de la Journée mondiale de la population, les hommes ont été appelés aujourd'hui à être des « partenaires de la santé maternelle », alors que chaque minute dans le monde une femme meurt en donnant naissance à un enfant.
« L'expérience montre que la participation des hommes peut faire une différence importante pour protéger la vie et la santé des femmes et des enfants », a déclaré aujourd'hui Thoraya Obaid, directrice du Fonds des Nations Unies pour la Population (UNFPA), rapporte un communiqué publié à New York.
« Les hommes prennent la plupart des décisions, au sein de la famille et des gouvernements, concernant les politiques et programmes qui affectent directement les femmes et les filles ».
« Aujourd'hui, trop de femmes meurent de complications au cours de la grossesse et de l'accouchement qui peuvent être prévenues. Chaque minute, une femme meurt dans ces circonstances », a-t-elle déploré.
« Aucune femme ne devrait plus mourir en donnant la vie », a plaidé Thoraya Obaid, qui a souligné que « pour chaque femme qui meurt, 20 autres sont victimes de graves complications, dont la fistule » (dépêche du 5.05.2005).
Pour sa part, le Secrétaire général de l'ONU, Ban Ki-moon, a souligné que « le soutien des pères pouvait jouer un rôle important dans l'amour, les soins et l'attention apportés aux enfants ».
Il a déclaré que « la propagation alarmante du VIH parmi les femmes est un signe tragique du fait que les femmes, dans de nombreuses régions, n'ont pas le pouvoir de protéger leur propre santé ».
Ban Ki-moon a appelé les hommes à devenir des « partenaires pour le changement, et à soutenir les droits fondamentaux des femmes ».

 

Mise en examen, la mère de Ryan échappe à la détention

 

 

Juillet mois des attrappe-nigaud

 

ÇA MANQUE UN PEU DE SÉRIEUX CHEZ LES PITOUNES

AUJOURD'HUI C'EST LE 19 JUILLET ET LE NUMÉRO DE SEPTEMBRE-OCTOBRE DE LA GAZETTE DES FEMMES N'EST TOUJOURS PAS EN KIOSQUE.

Ce n'est pas nous qui sommes en avance
ce sont elles qui sont toujours en retard.