A
Letter from the heart
From a Dad
From one of us
1.
I am a Canadian citizen and proud father of two incredible
daughters. I have decided to write this letter as my children and I are
victims of terrible injustices within Canada. This letter is to bring
attention to a matter of national importance that I am certain many
government officials are completely aware of and choosing not to act on.
It is a matter that affects many Canadian families, and a matter that has
been addressed several times over the years within parliament as well as
outside the government walls. This issue demands immediate public
attention, awareness and action.
2.
I write my story, and I will be as brief as I can, however
it is unfortunately a long and terrible story. The real sadness is that
this story is not unique in this country. Many other loving fathers have
experienced many of the same atrocities I have, many caring fathers have
gone into hiding, walked away from their own children, declared bankruptcy
and fallen into poverty, suffered severe mental health problems, physical
health issues and most horrible of all, some have opted to commit suicide
and homicide. I do not condone this behaviour, however after the
experiences I have had in the past three years, I understand the pain
suffered by so many good loving fathers. I am speaking of the current
family law system and the terrible damage to children and the parents
(mainly fathers) of divorce. I am clearly aware that this topic is well
known to many, yet I fail to understand how so many allow the current
system of unaccountability and severe abuses to continue in our country
and our claimed democratic society. I am perplexed that with so much
emphasis on healthy families and the benefits to any society that the
current crimes committed against children and their parents are allowed to
continue and grow exponentially every year.
3.
In 1998, a report titled “For the Sake of the Children” was
brought before parliament. Many of the issues I discuss in this letter
were addressed in this report and many recommendations were made for
sweeping changes in the current dysfunctional family law system. The
previous arrogant Liberal government chose to ignore these recommendations
and continue with the corrupt legal system and status quo as it still
exists today.
4.
I was once proud to be a Canadian. I
served for six years in the Canadian Forces with pride and had the
opportunity arisen for me, I too would have served overseas just as our
soldiers do today. I paid my taxes, worked
as an enumerator for Elections
Canada for one election, voted in every election since I was old enough to
vote. I was proud that I lived in free nation that I firmly believed to
be just and fair. I was proud to be part of a country that appeared to me
at this time to encourage strong families, ingenuity, and success. I
believed that I lived in a country that honored hard work and recognized
contributions to the nation. I no longer am proud to be Canadian, and it
appears to me now that I was delusional in my thinking. I now believe I
live in a state controlled by the legal profession, and not the people of
this land.
5.
Three years ago I was separated. For many years I was part
of a tumultuous marital relationship and despite years of trying to solve
our problems, it finally came to a close. It is irrelevant what my
marital relationship was like, the marriage was over and the only matter
of importance was my abilities as a parent. Prior to the failure of my
marriage, I was like any good Canadian father. My life revolved around my
family’s needs before my own. I strived to maintain a good balance to
ensuring everyone in my family had a chance to live well and follow our
dreams. I was an integral part of my daughters’ lives as they were of
mine. I attended all except perhaps one of my daughter’s parent teacher
interviews. As a parent, I was often responsible for transportation for
my children to and from school, daycare, Girl Guides, dancing and other
extra-curricular activities. I seldom worked any overtime, and all my
weekends were free, allowing me all the time to take my children to the
parks, on nature walks, bicycle rides and other family events. All of
which I did frequently. I am a healthy and good father, and my children
and I deserve to remain together despite the fact that their mother and I
do not get along.
6.
As I quickly learned, after my separation, I was treated as
less than a second class citizen. I was embroiled in a system that
thrives on conflict, abuse, unaccountability, and a complete disregard for
the written law. I encountered judges, lawyers, police officers and
others hell bent on actively alienating me from my children who I love as
much as any good father. I found myself embroiled in a system that
deliberately vindicated my former spouse’s irresponsible and
confrontational behaviour at the expense of my relationship to my
beautiful daughters. I found that the current legal system not only
allowed my former spouse to vilify me, but actually encouraged and
disregarded her vexatious behaviour. I was unable to defend myself
against the constant onslaught of lies, lawyer’s manipulations and judge’s
incompetence. Even more sickening is the fact that these courts proclaim
to act “in the best interests of the children”. It takes a truly twisted
individual to think that cutting a parent out of a child’s life is in
their best interest.
7.
The main disadvantages I have in this corrupt legal system:
·
Complex legal system designed for manipulative officers of
the court (primarily judges and lawyers) to allow for personal gain and to
maintain status quo
·
I am a man and a father
·
Self represented. As a middle class Canadian, I did not
have access to proper legal counsel as I could not afford it and made too
much to qualify for legal aid (although based on my experiences and what I
have witnessed of other fathers, having a lawyer in this system is no
guarantee of fairness either)
8.
I learned that approximately 75% of divorces in Canada are
initiated by females, that approximately 90% of mothers retain full
custody or primary care of children, and that many good fathers are
financially bankrupted and alienated from their children. Many divorced
fathers are often further destroyed by an inflexible maintenance structure
and are offered no protection or recourse from parental alienation. The
few fathers that are fortunate enough to occasionally have a ‘win’ in the
family law courts usually have done so after spending large sums of money
on legal fees and spending several years fighting for their rights to
remain fathers to their children. I believe that most of these men were
fortunate enough to have the funds to fight the corruption that clearly
exists within the current legal structure, as well as were fortunate to
enough to have the stamina to endure the constant abuse of such a
confrontational and destructive system. I once read that justice in
Canadian courts is “justice by accident” and based on my personal
experience, I believe this statement is true.
9.
I have no positive experiences from what has taken place in
the past three years. I have no faith in this legal system as it has
continually created a confrontational environment that has too often
placed me in situations where I have made decisions I would not have
otherwise made in a fair and accountable system. I have not seen or been
in contact with my children for over one year now. I have given up
fighting within an organization that deliberately places hurdles in my
path to justice. I was forced to spend Christmas without my children this
past year, I have been forced to miss birthdays, school plays, parent
teacher interviews and extra-curricular activities that I normally took
part in prior to my marriage separation. Despite all the things I did
after the failure of my marriage to alleviate confrontation, I soon
discovered that my ex wife now had a vehicle (in the legal system) at her
disposal to continue the same abusive behaviour I experienced throughout
our marriage. To add injury to insult, the courts not only vindicated her
behaviour, they allowed her entire family to participate in vagrant abuses
towards my children and I. The lawyers and judges actively created
circumstances that my former spouse was able to easily manipulate to
create and provoke confrontation.
10.
If
you have any sense at this point what my experience was like, you can only
imagine the stress and emotions that come with this kind of continual
destructive system. I suffered from severe depression and anxiety,
severely affecting my normal good judgment, any ability to have a
productive life and most importantly, quality time with my children. I
was often denied access only to have my ex wife’s lawyer manipulates the
court by stating that I “had little contact with my children after the
separation” as though I chose to limit my time with my daughters.
11.
I am
thoroughly disgusted that blatant abuses against the Canadian Charter of
Rights and Freedoms and Human Rights continue to thrive in our country. I
find it irreprehensible that Canada passes judgement on other countries
Human Rights abuses while Human Rights abuses exist within our own
borders.
12.
In
the past three years, I have gone from being a full time father with a
good job, a nice home, acting as a responsible and constructive member of
society, to being forced to live in hiding, my children forcibly removed
from my care, being denied access to my children and having the courts
completely rape me of my future and dignity. This system has stolen the
last three years of my life. Recently I have lost my driver’s license to
maintenance support, a vile organization in itself that blatantly abuses
the power to enforce unreasonable orders. The loss of my driver’s license
cost me my employment, as it is a requirement of my employment. My
children are being used to extort money from me. We have other laws in
this country which call this kidnapping and blackmail.
13.
All
that I hoped for in my life was to be able to live peacefully and like any
other father, raise my children as best as I can. I still want the same
thing in my life. I want to be with my children and share the time with
their mother evenly, I want an opportunity to rebuild my life, wealth and
home so that I can offer my children what they rightfully deserve.
14.
Every father in Canada deserves to have a voice. Every father deserves to
have the chance to describe their own tortures suffered under an unjust
system. Every child has the right to be heard. I know that I will no
longer remain silent. This letter is also a statement that I will no
longer capitulate to the abusive and severely flawed legal system and
financial slavery. Although I do not wish to go to prison, I am fully
prepared for this outcome now as it is clear to me that negotiation and
compromise do not exist within this flagrantly corrupt system.
15.
In
closing, I want to relate to you the eerie similarities between the
current family law system and another organization in history. This
organization deliberately sought out a group of individuals and created a
place for them in society that caused the rest of the people to find this
group as repugnant. They were publicly vilified, called evil, liars,
tormentors and thieves. They were rounded up and brought before
‘kangaroo’ courts and faced charges for nonexistent crimes. These people
were told that they had no rights, and were eventually rounded up as
cattle and sent off to their doom. It was the Second World War, the
organization was the Nazi’s, the people were the Jews, homosexuals,
Gypsies, Poles, Russians, Communists and anyone who did not ‘fit’ in with
the current political thinking of the times. After the war, German
citizens claimed they simply were not aware of the atrocities that took
place. Is it the same thing here? If you examine what is currently
happening within the current legal system in Canada and much of developed
world, it is frightening the resemblances with this time in history, and
it is sad that we still have not learned from it.
16.
It
is time to change. It is time to give fathers the opportunity to be heard
in a public forum, and the children who have been affected by such a
destructive organization. At this point in my life, the only acceptable
solution is reunification with my children along with the protection to
parent without interference from my former spouse and the legal system, as
well as the opportunity to rebuild my life so that I can once again become
a contributing member of society and provide my children with the home and
future they so rightly deserve. I will accept any lawyer’s aid who wishes
to act pro-bono in my case.
Mr. Lawrence C. Chartier
Proud Father